The Sickness
I am a healthcare provider. I have been a clinician for more than half my life.
I am also a patient. I contracted COVID-19 in March 2020 and am subsequently a “long hauler”.
My city issued a “shelter in place” mandate mid-March, the very weekend I began to show symptoms. Remote work suddenly became permissible for many, except healthcare workers. We were deemed “essential” and still expected to work in person, so we did.
The first COVID-19 case in Washington state was confirmed on January 20, 2020 by the Centers for Disease Control (https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa2001191), and 2 months later I was sick. Diagnosed by a local urgent care center that coincidentally had begun a COVID testing study mere days after I began to feel ill. I sought care in this manner due to not having a PCP and being unable to procure a virtual provider visit offered through my health insurance company, which finally responded to my request 2 days later after I had already been seen and tested by the immediate care clinic.
I met the testing criteria mainly because I worked in direct patient contact, had a fever, dry cough, and sinus symptoms. I felt lucky to be able to get tested since it was the beginning of the pandemic and tests were not widely available, even to healthcare workers. That feeling changed 2 days later after being told I was positive for COVID-19.
I convalesced at home, quarantining for 2 weeks as instructed. Self-managing a myriad of symptoms with natural supplements and OTC medicines mainly, since there was no set treatment protocol at that point. Hospitals were scrambling to care for a growing number of infected patients and discouraging visits unless severe illness was evident.
I was treated via “My Chart” messages and phone conversations by a nurse on call that I was thankfully connected with 2 weeks later when I retested (per protocol then) to return to work. I was still positive and confused since this was supposed to be a 2-week flu like illness. Without any more guidance than I could read for myself, the nurse reiterated that if my symptoms worsened to go to the hospital. Great. Thanks.
Unable to work now, I was faced with a multitude of what ifs. How was I going to pay bills? Rent? I was out of paid time off by the end of my first 2 weeks of illness. My manager suggested filing for unemployment insurance on a furlough basis, meaning I could go back when well and census increased. That was a challenge as thousands were also filing having lost jobs due to lock down. After initial denial, then several unanswered phone calls and emails, eventually I was approved because I qualified through the Pandemic Unemployment Assistance fund created by the CARES Act. What a relief that was!
Meanwhile doctors and nurses were learning on the fly, information changed daily. I continued to suffer at home with an ever-evolving list of symptoms that waned and flared for weeks that turned into months. Countless times I seemed to improve for a few days and even a couple weeks, only to have what I have come to refer to as “COVID flare ups”, where I felt unwell. I became anxious but curious, why weren’t my symptoms going away for good? I wondered was anyone else having these same issues.
I reached out to social media communicating updates on my status and asking if anyone else was having symptoms after the supposed 14 day duration experts assumed would last. I received many replies; comments, well wishes, and even a few messages from skeptics who knew someone who had COVID and had not experienced what I had.
Finally, someone answered with a suggested link to a group of people that were like me and maybe I could find some information, and even some relief from there. I clicked the link and joined Survivor Corps (https://www.facebook.com/groups/669615740453955) It was a godsend. I read post after post from people just like me. 4 weeks+ post infection with weird, random symptoms that came and went.
I realized now; I was a COVID-19 survivor with long haul symptoms, whatever that meant. Now referred to as Long Covid. It equally became more manageable knowing I was not alone, but also scarier not knowing how long this would continue or if it would even end. At this point science wasn’t giving us those answers.
I returned to work after 3 months at home, half of which I was quarantined because no one could definitively decide how long was I contagious. The patient census at my clinic was low while I was sick but started picking up in June, and work asked me to return.
I quickly realized I was not the same person that had left in March. I found I was having difficulty with processing information and recalling simple protocols I’d previously been able to perform almost automatically, since I’d been in my field close to 3 decades. This was problematic since I worked in a fast-paced environment and patients required my expertise to be rehabilitated.
I was frustrated beyond belief but had minimal choice, I had to work to make ends meet. I struggled through months of continued exacerbating and remitting symptoms. Brain fog, anxiety, shortness of breath, rapid heart rate, periodic chest pain, fluctuating blood pressure, headaches, joint pain, fatigue. Those are just the ones I remember now. Oh, and memory issues.
Reading updated medical information as fast as it was released, I noticed long haulers were starting to be heard. Reports of studies happening with Long Covid patients and programs beginning to address our wide array of needs gave me hope.
Then in November 2020, like a bright beacon showing a way through the long dark storm, a vaccine was going to be emergency authorized, and “frontline” (AKA healthcare) workers would be given priority. I hoped this would be safe and was slightly leery, but ready for this nightmare chapter to end.
The first groups were vaccinated in December and in January it was our turn. Our managers reached out to local medical centers to find vaccines for us. The availability was scarce, but we were able to schedule our shots, then waited a couple weeks for the appointments.
When my day came, I was nervous but excited. Taking into consideration all the feedback from those who went before us regarding side effects, i.e., immune response. I sincerely felt, no side effect could be worse than what I had been through actually having COVID so I went for my 1st shot.
To my relief, my complaints following the vaccine were similar to what I’d heard. Sore arm, fatigue, slight headache. Overall doable.
Unexpectedly about 10 days later I came down with a suspected cold, tested negative for COVID, but still mandated another week off work to be safe. That delayed my 2nd shot since you could not be actively ill and take the vaccine. This prompted me to seek out a PCP finally. I had investigated it previously, but many doctors were not taking new patients during the pandemic. I was able to obtain an appointment with an open doctor through my significant other, who happened to be at his PCP’s office while I was sick.
The 1st appointment with my new doctor was via telehealth. She listened and commiserated. She decided I indeed had a virus that should resolve in another few days, that it was likely a coincidence I got sick between my 1st and 2nd injections, and I should reschedule my 2nd shot ASAP. She also wanted me to follow up with the newly formed post-COVID clinic at the University of Washington.
I felt heard. Validated. Relieved.
The post COVID clinic offered insight, treatment options and suggested diagnostic testing based on my reported symptoms. They scheduled me for a chest X-ray, pulmonary function test, an EKG, and heart monitor. I was grateful to be officially undergoing professional medical care after almost a year of unknowns and awaited my appointments eager for answers.
